OzFest 2014: It is almost Aussie O’Clock at Malthouse

and/or throwing another shrimp on the barbie. Befitting his status as a two-time British Beer Writer of the Year, Pete Brown manages to include all three (and much more) in his first and, in my opinion, best book “A Man Walks Into A Pub.”

He writes “Watney Mann [1] used Paul Hogan, a little-known comedian with a late-night sketch show, as the launch spokesperson for Foster’s and the embodiment of the brand. He was the naive Australian abroad – like the brand, a visitor to Britain. In each ad he would encounter a traditional British institution and would, apparently, not quite get it, preferring instead to just drink the good old ‘amber lager’ (which tasted like ‘an angel crying on your tongue’) [2] and reflect about the absurdity of Britain as seen from the outside.”

“There was the time he went to the ballet, [3] and sat bemused until the male principal dancer wafted onto stage in his tights and codpiece, forcing Hogan to splutter ‘Strewth! There’s a bloke down there with no strides on!’ and cover the eyes of his lady friend.”

Though it seems surprising now, the campaign was a huge success. Brown explains “People associated Australia with a macho drinking culture at a time when lager was still seen by some as effeminate… Research said it was ‘the most youthful, trendy and masculine brand around.’” With the global success of Crocodile Dundee, Australia became the “trendiest place on earth.” Neighbours became the highest rated show on British telly and Brown argues “soon we were all doing dodgy Oz accents, saying things like ‘let’s throw another shrimp on the barbie’ and falling around laughing at how clever we were.”

Maverick beer writers Stephen Beaumont [4] and Tim Webb [5] do not follow the rules. In their 2014 Pocket Beer Book, the authors do not mention Foster’s, Hogan or shrimps in their admittedly short but precise summary of Australian beer culture. Instead, they wrote “By the 1980s, few Australians could give a XXXX about beer, the land of opportunity having succumbed to standardisation on a massive scale. Only Coopers of Adelaide offered a range of beers outside a narrow spectrum of thin, ice-cold, light, pale lagers involved in testosterone fuelled brand battles;”

“In contrast, the last 15 years has seen the emergence of a nascent Australian craft brewing scene that now boasts well north of a hundred breweries… making beer styles from all over the world, with twists that it can increasingly call its own. In a nation of straight talkers, most beer are named for the company and beer style, though the description ‘American’ often encompasses both beers made with citrus, aromatic US hops and those that lead with fruity, tropical antipodean varieties.”

As should be abundantly clear by now, this post is about Australian beers. That is because Malthouse is hosting its first ever OzFest starting at noon on Friday 19 September and continuing until all the Ozzie beer runs out. Colin the Handsome Yet Softly Spoken Scottish Malthouse Proprietor explains on Facebook that a boatload of Aussie beers were destined for Beervana but the ship suffered engine damage, turned back and the beers disappeared into “beer limbo”. However, they have now arrived and; he has organised a mini-tap takeover. There may even be some crustaceans chucked on a heated metal grill. [6]

Here are the beers that will be going on progressively over OzFest starting with my absolute Ocker favourite Feral Hop Hog IPA (5.8%). Operating in the Swan Valley since 2002, Feral [7] produces a diverse range of quality brews in a myriad of styles. This is their flagship beer and the best. Hop Hog is bursting with notes of citrus, grapefruit and trampled pine needles. Feral Karma Citra (5.8%) is a Black IPA with lashings of Citra hops. Highly regarded on RateBeer I think I speak I for everyone when I say “I wish they got Feral Karma Chameleon instead” just I could utter that combination of words in context.

Bridge Road Brewery is an old friend of Malthouse and uses Ned Kelly’s likeness on its labels. You know, to dispel all those convict rumours. The Bridge Road Bling India Pale IPA (5.8%) is their take on the more traditional India Pale Ale genre. As you might expect from a beer named ‘Bling’, this is a huge beer with “all the bells and whistles” – big chewy malts, massive fresh hops, plenty of body. Equally unsurprisingly, Bridge Road Bling Bling IIPA (8.5%) is a “pimped out” [8] version of Bling which I’m pretty sure I will drink at some point during the festival. I don’t think this beer has made it to New Zealand before but early reports indicate there are notes of tropical fruit, grapefruit, caramel and bitterness.

Also on offer will be Bridge Road Galaxy IPA (5.2%), a single hop pale ale with a delicate balance of Galaxy’s trademark mango notes and firm bitterness. Bridge Road Biere de Garde (7.5%) will be pouring which I have previously describe as an “authentically complicated brew with notes of toffee, dried fruits, spices, sugar and earthy yeasts.”

Rounding out the line up is a pair of contrasting Moo Brews – Moo Brew Seasonal Stout 7.3% and Moo Brew Pilsner (5%). It cannot be a proper Australian festival without a couple of Coopers – in this case the Coopers Aged Sparkling 2012 and Coopers Vintage 2012. Finally, there will be the beguiling Holgate Temptress (6%) brewed with cocoa and vanilla bean, and the glass of mango slaw that is the famous Stone and Wood Pacific Ale (4.4%).

Next time, we drink to (Sir) Shane Warne – the greatest Australian of all time.

[1] A questionable British brewery we will not mention again.

[2] I always assumed I had stolen derivations of this phrase from food critic AA Gill but it appears he may have appropriated it from (Spoiler Alert) the Man Who Would Become Crocodile Dundee.

[3] Ballet does not strike me as a traditional British institution. It seems more, well, European. Now if he had gone to Morris Dancing I would have no questions.

[4] My second favourite Canadian.

[5] My four thousand and thirty second favourite Englishman.

[6] I have no information on this. The word “may” is therefore the most important word in the sentence.

[7] Company Motto: “undomesticated yet sophisticated.”

[8] Technical brewing term.