A rare column in which I talk about beer... and cricket

Thursday, 18 February 2016 16:43

A rare column in which I talk about beer... and cricket

As foreshadowed in last week’s blog I spent Valentine’s Day at the cricket while others were enjoying aphrodisiacal ales and strawberries at Malthouse. I can confirm that Tui Lager at the Basin lacks any discernible romantic characteristics, however it is easier to use the empty Tui trays to build a “fortress to keep the haters out” than it would be building a fort using leftover strawberry stems. In their defence, the Basin was selling Black Dog beers too and they sold out very quickly. [1]

There was not much to cheer about at the game because New Zealand got thoroughly owned by the Australians. It was a complete sell-out crowd but in general it was as quiet as David Warner at a spelling bee. Fortunately I managed to find a spot in the shade otherwise I would have melted in the hot Wellington sun while watching the defeat. For the record, I did not take “the sign”.

Ironically it has rained pretty much constantly in Wellington since we lost but then we deserved to. In other news, every cicada in existence has seemingly woken up this week and is now chirping outside my office window. They are almost drowning out the whistling workman next door with a hammer who likes hitting metal things since 6:34am. [2] On balance, I’m on #teamcicada. [3]

There are seven beers on tap at Malthouse I want to discuss today so here we go:

Fork Brewing Godzone Beat Champion Pale Ale (Wellington) 5.9%

I have to start with the super obvious disclaimer that I am a director at Fork Brewing and have been since before the opening. [4] This beer frankly surprised me. I was expecting a run of the mill mainstream pale ale for the corporate crowd but brewer Kelly #brewjesus Ryan has made it awesome. It is packed with New Zealand hops, - think orange and spice – but still balanced and drinkable. Plus you can now buy it in bottles. [5] You should do so immediately.

Beavertown Gamma Ray APA (Tottenham) 5.4%

I’ve been to the London pub where Beavertown was first brewed but I have to say it was not easy. I was on a “fact finding mission” to Pilsen in the Czech Republic with a night in London. The taxi was a rather sexy looking unmarked black SUV which made me feel like a rock star... until we attempted to go anywhere.

The ride had been booked months in advance, we gave the driver the name of the pub and the street address, but he refused to move until we gave him the postcode too. He had a huge GPS system on the dash, but we had to use Kiwi cell phones to find the secret code. After all that he drove straight past the pub and had to do a seven point turn in a cul-de-sac.

Anyway, Beavertown are a delightfully creative London brewery. Their beers are being bought in by the good peeps at Beertique and the Rye IPA is pretty special is an APA with ray guns on the label – of course I would have this first. My notes read “slightly hazy golden, thick and finely bubbled head, lasting caramel mid-bitterness, smooth carbonation but not hugely APA.” Looking back, it’s at the more subtle end of the scale - balanced and tasty.”

Epic Brooklyn IPA (Auckland) 6.3%

Yet another disclaimer – because they are cool right – I have not drunk this beer since yesterday. I came out of a six hour meeting where I took 23 pages of notes and, unsurprisingly, wanted a beer. Brooklyn is a new hop (December 2015) and this is the first Kiwi beer made with it. I had a Brooklyn and adored the citrus and grapefruit notes. My intention was to stay for just a quick one but my Malthouse bar tab suggests otherwise.

Kereru Imperial Nibs Stout (Wellington) 8.5%

I have been known to have strong opinions on beers – hoppy (in favour), fruit (opposed) and coconut (opposed). It turns out that I was wrong. [6] After cracking open a For Even Greater Justice Toasted Coconut Porter on a hot Wellington evening late last year I was enchanted by the flavours – toasted coconut (clearly), vanilla (from the vanilla beans), coffee (from the cacao nibs) but with a clean finish.

I sent brewer Chris Mills a text saying “I may have been overly judgemental about your coconut beer.” He replied “That is the most intriguing thing you have said all year.” [7] Imperial Nibs is a stronger version of For Even Greater Justice and all the more intriguing for it.

Fork Brewing Shadow Majestic Milk Stout (Wellington) 4%

I’m not sure who is in charge down at the Fork & Brewer but they keep letting Kelly #Frodo Ryan brew beers with yoghurt and ice lollies. Make more pale ales you scruffy yet sexy hippy! Anyway, this beer is named after the fact that the Fork is literally in the shadow of the Majestic Centre during all the hours of sunshine we have had this summer. You know, twice as much as Auckland.

Ryan defends making a dark beer for summer saying:

"I like brewing loads of different beer styles, but for some reason, it's the darker ones - the stouts and the porters - that are my favourite to brew. In terms of hops, I wanted to bring this away slightly from the standard milk stout. Shadow Majestic courts both Kiwi and US hops. It's a nod to our Pacific friends in the USA and the wonderful American-style stouts that are often jammed full of big, resinous and punchy West Coast US hops.”

"My mind's eye had something with some extremely gentle roastiness, a little raisin and prune character and a lovely candied fruit hop character to round it off. I don't know if there is such a thing as a Pacific Milk Stout. There seems to be very few new ideas in brewing, but it sounded good to me."

Funk Estate Super Afrodisiac Imperial Stout (Auckland) 8.3%

The cornerstone of Malthouse’s Valentine’s Day weekend, this is a sexy, smooth, sultry beer – just like the young guys that brewed it. It is the beer that beatific, bold and bombastic Unit Manager Ciaran Duffy claimed would “get the town shagging!” I guess we will know for sure in nine months or so...

In the Hopinator there are, surprise surprise, no hops. But there are chillies, many chillies. Flowing over their fiery and warlike corpses is none other than Epic Armageddon IPA (Auckland) 6.66%. I adore Armageddon and generally dislike chilli beer [8] but this particular combination of fruit, bitterness and heat absolutely nails it. In the words of Fry from Futurama, “Shut Up and Take My Money”!

Mr Bombastic Ciaran Duffy wanted this quote included “the internet is dangerous, it's convinced me that I'm a hypochondriac”. I believe Abraham Lincoln said that first.

Next time we drink to Brendon McCullum.

[1] Hopefully the Basin Reserve will take note of the demand and increase the supply of Black Dog and, best case scenario, other craft beers too.

[2] For my Canadian readers who were previously unfamiliar with cicadas until they got a photo of one literally two feet above me at the cricket, they are now pretty much everywhere, including, according to the local newspaper, on buses now. Another strike against public transport...

[3] Fletcher Construction tells the Body Corporate they start work at 7:30am. They tell me they start at 7:00am. They are liars.

[4] Apparently this is still important to a couple of people.

[5] For the record, writing a 24 word beer label is actually harder than writing a 1,000 word blog.

[6] This will come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

[7] It was mid-January. I’ve said many intriguing and/or odd things since then.

[8] Because I am a wuss.

Cheers

Neil Miller

Beer Writer

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